The Houseguest -- Continues

I just got a text from this guy, following his weekend of NYC interviews, he's been offered a fabulous NYC-architecture job and will be moving here in 2 weeks. He's already requested that I hang out with him when he's here next weekend to look at apartment and when he has his welcome to NYC party.

UGH! Prior to hooking up with him, as I sat on the couch weighing my options (Sunday night, 3-day weekend, nothing good on TV, etc...), I hadn't really considered that he would end up moving to NYC and I would see him on a regular basis. I really had this pegged as a one-night thing...

I guess there is no better welcome to NYC, than a quick tutorial about how we're all a bunch of non-commital, single people...

Break-up Rules

There are few things more rewarding than when an ex tries to contact you and you give them the screen. For the last month, The Producer has tryed to reach me...

Attempt One: The Street Encounter
Attempt Two: The email - Received nearly a month after the talk, I was initially unsure if I wanted to respond. So I bought myself some time by firing off a faux-out of the office response. After contemplating his email for a weekend, I decided a response was unnecessary. Delete.
Attempt Three: Valentine’s Day text - So what time is the six-foot teddy bear arriving at my house.

While I’m not a gal who plays by “The Rules,” I have 3 hard and fast rules when it comes to relationships:

1. There is no such thing as breaking up and getting back together again. While I do love hearing about dramatic break-ups -- ringing doorbells at 4AM, fiery public displays of affection/annoyance/hatred, etc…) I consider this a vicious cycle which becomes a commonplace way of handling all problems in the relationship. Take the hint and walk away, saving time on Rule #2
2. To fully get over someone, it takes half the time of the relationship
3. Once that half-time has passed, you and the old-flame return to the state of your pre-relationship relationship. If you were friends, you stay friends. If you skipped the friend stage and went straight to relationship, then that person doesn’t exist to you.

Having the upper hand is absolutely refreshing.

I realize that since we have similar friends, one of these days we'll be in the same place, at the same time... When that happens, it happens.... But I am not going to be forcing it, or responding to any of his really lame contact attempts.

Are we in jr. high?

Twice in the last week I've been pressured by my friends to renege on an offer I had made to another friend.

Case #1 Tickets to Spamalot

My girlfriends and I had purchased tickets months back for tonight’s performance. Last week, one of my friends had an unexpected work conflict arise. There was a slight scramble in the following days to find someone to take her ticket. Luckily, I found a co-worker willing to pay for her ticket. Crisis averted.

Or so I thought. Friday at happy hour, it comes up that her trip was cancelled and she can attend the performance. She straight up stated that she realizes her ticket has already been promised to someone else, but at that moment, another friend suggests I get the ticket back. Honestly, this whole conversation completely rubbed me the wrong way... So tacky! Naturally, I refused to request the ticket back from my coworker.

Case #2 Bahamas

Late last week after finding a phenomenally priced trip to the Bahamas, I began discussing the possibility of a trip with my friends. This weekend, there was a mixed bag of travelers, however by the time it laying down our credit cards, we were down to four gals and a guy who happens to be a former F.W.P. (Friend with Privileges).

There was definite pressure from the gals to shake off my guy friend, so it would be all girls. I personally believe that having a wingman on the trip would make for more fun. Plus, he was the 2nd most committed person to this trip, there was no way I could renege on my travel offer. Can you imagine if I lied to my friend and went behind his back? Considering we hang out nearly every weekend, he certainly would have noticed that I was exceptionally tan in the middle of March.

A Moment of Reflection

On this day the 14th of February, I woke up laughing thinking back to 2006 and the accidental Valentine's Day date I set up for myself. The date who incidentally never made it pass the third date, for so many reasons.

I've gone on so many bad dates, I am beginning to understand my friends who believe in quality vs. quantity. Let's see:

- There was the drummer who I was nervous about going out with, so I quelled my nerves with a pre-date bottle of champagne with my roommates. This was followed by a drink at the bar + a bottle of wine at dinner = Me making a complete ass of myself

- There was the date who suggested we meet an a neighborhood bar. Then after purchasing me a vodka tonic told me that he was Muslim and believed that alcohol was the root of all evil...

- There was the younger guy who turns out "knew" my much, much younger cousin from college...

- There's the Canadian Mountie, a date on which my cabbie had to step in so he'd let me out of the cab...

- Bad dates go as far back as high-school, where her guy I was dating opted to take my sister to his prom over me. (Okay, I was a freshman and they had the same group of friends, but STILL, there should be a rule against that or something.)

Who am I kidding, I love a good - bad date story. I think I need to start meeting more of the "wrong" men. It is a good thing this city is full of them...

Tax Season

Every year, I use Turbo Tax to process my tax return. It is easy, quick and with electronic returns and direct deposit, I have a couple thousand dollars in my bank account in a matter of days.

However, this year my industry friends are buzzing about a particular tax guy who specializes in returns for the PR/Marketing gal. Apparently, he has perfected the “formula” which takes into consideration every possible deduction and he doubles most everyone’s tax return. This guy has the stamp of approval from the heads of top NY marketing agencies and his calendar is booked nearly through tax season.

A friend just offered me her appointment.

I’m tempted. I can almost feel the $4K in my pocket. Then my delirious happiness, is interrupted by a nagging fear of the IRS. What if I get audited? Is this guy legitimate? I haven’t kept a receipt in years…

If I were a bolder individual, I would accept the appointment and take the $4K without question. However, considering that the IRS has something like six years to audit you, I just might play it safe.
Although that $4K would be magnificent...

Window of Opportunity

At lunch my fortune cookie read, "A window of opportunity doesn't open itself."

Four hours later someone offered me a ticket to tonight's Justin Timberlake show at MSG.

Hello opportunity! Hello Mr. Timberlake!

The "m" word

In a relationship, I never, ever, ever mention marriage. Ever. And for good reason, this isn't something I dwell upon. My parents weren't married until 32, so I figure I have four years to get my act in gear.

However, when I consider my doomed relationships (those which I invested myself in vs. those that were mere "bumper" boyfriends), I'm staring to think that the lack of this word is detrimental to me.

Perhaps in the future, I should stop being the non-commitment gal.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about bringing it up within the first couple months of hanging out. But at some point, when marriage comes up in conversation, I should admit that 'yes, I would like to get married someday.'

I don't think I've ever voiced these words to the men in my life. Not that this is going to cure my dating ills, but at least I'll put upfront where I eventually see myself. Then he'll either get out early, or he'll move ahead fully aware.

I guess I had figured I never needed to say those words, because I had naively believed that everyone wants to get married some day. I'm learning that I'm wrong, people are becoming increasingly happy without the institution. The least I can do is be honest about what I'm looking for.

Life on the road

So, I'm in Washington DC for a conference. Earlier today I was in the business center sending proprietary information to my team back in NYC. As I'm at the public terminal, I'm aware of everything going on around me. After all these medical meetings are filled with my competition. Everyone is eavesdropping, reading over your shoulders, looking for a marketing scoop.

Discretion unnecessary. As I catch a glimpse of the man's terminal next to me, he is trolling 'Craig's list' looking for 'massages'. As he conducted his research, he showed no regard for those standing around waiting for the terminal to open. Post after post, he opened the ads of men offering 'massages' many of them containing nude photos.

By now I'm wondering if this man leads a second life on business trips. Does he was a wife at home? kids? a boyfriend? a girlfriend? Does he use these on the road opportunities to explore a saucier side of his personality.

Needless to say, at a convention of thousands, I encountered this man multiple times on the floor. I only hope when I see him tomorrow he is smiling.