Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Thursday, March 23

Reasons why we won't have a third date

Dinner ... You drank 3/4 of the wine, never offering to refill my glass.

Cab to post dinner drinks ... After tying back my hair as I put on my jacket and scarf, you told me (in a very stern, bossy tone) that I shouldn't tie my hair back, because you didn't like it. Note: Do I care what you think? No. Notice my hair stayed up for the rest of the night.

Post-dinner drinks ... The available seating were small candlelit tables perfect for two to sit across from each other, you asked to sit next to me to which I refused, "cause this isn't a diner"

Post-dinner drink conversation ... After mentioning that I liked an evening cup of tea with a small piece of dark chocolate. You gave an icky smile and repeated the small, dark chocolate comment back to me. I got the distinct vibe that you were thinking about your penis at that moment.

Post dinner check ... You left a $4 tip on a $55 bill.

The Sealer ... After walking me home I thanked you for the date and gave you a hug goodnight. To which you said, and I QUOTE "I don't want that type of hug, you have your jacket and scarf on." Note: What the frick? Are we at Flavor Flav's house or something...

The Super Glue that Sealed the "No Third Date" Deal ... Unsure how to react to that last comment, I started to fish my apartment keys out of my bag. You used this split second to latch your right hand on my hip and kiss me. Where was your left hand??? Pressing firmly against the left side of my face, not moving, just pressed there, like a stone dead mackerel or something. This left me little room to pull away, I was stuck till you decided to detach yourself from me.

After the second worse kiss ever... I tried to get away so fast, I forgot that I had to use my keys to unlock my apartment door, and had an awkward semi-crash into the locked, closed door.

The #1 worse kiss ever -- The Older Man (NYC Guy Profile #6)


Post a Comment

<< Home