Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Tuesday, November 28

I'm a complete sucker for Christmas lights during the holiday season. There is nothing quite like shooting down a quiet, dark suburban street when suddenly you come upon a house ablaze with Christmas lights. It is so warm and inviting... You find yourself slowing down and pausing to look and praise (or critique) the owner's lighting choices.

My home has never been the flashiest on the block, but in my mind it has always been the classiest. White candle lights in each window. An over sized holiday wreath at the front of the house with a red bow and white candle light. A holiday wreath on the front door and the back bay window which overlooks the rest of the neighborhood filled by a lit Christmas tree. Simple. Sophisticated.

My personal preference are small bulbed white lights. No color, no flashing. However, on occasion, I see purpose and use for the large colored bulbs for outdoor decorations.

When I was in college, lit-icicles appeared on the scene. These were usually done in good taste covering the complete front expanse of the roof. However there is always that one neighbor who feels it is enough to only "icicle" part of the roof, or just the windows. This is a heinous. And should be avoided. If you can't spring for an extra box of icicles, perhaps you should also reconsider any lights at all - after all electricity costs money as well...

This year, however, I have seen the worst. There no way it can get worse.

Inflatable, Animated, Snow Globe Lawn Decorations.

They are everywhere! They are heinous! After viewing the price tag on these suckers ($200), I find it ironic that these eye-sores appear on the lawns of houses which appear to be most in neglect. Due to their limited availability, the police department in my small hometown is now forced to canvas the houses which have these eye-sores to watch for burglars.

Honestly, for the sake of good taste, I can only hope that our desire for something bigger, brighter and more eye catching than our neighbor comes to an end soon. I can't imagine a holiday decorating fate worse than this...

Tuesday, November 21

Hookah Anyone?

Having decided that Le Souk sucks, my friends and I have been on the search for a replacement hookah bar. Quite unexpectedly, we found the ideal replacement --

Located in NoLita,
Moomia is a refreshing step outside Hell Square and it is everything Le Souk pretends to be. The staff was incredibly accomodating to our large group, shuffling the seating until we were all comfortably seated. The hookahs were fantastic and affordable, so there was no guilt. The waitress aren't distracted with bellydancing, so they keep your cocktails filled. In addition, the music is completely dancable.

Best off - no bachelorette parties.

Between midnight and 2:30AM, the bar was at it's busiest. However, without bottle service forced upon you - a'la Le Souk - seating is fluid and you can find yourself a banquet if your friends decide to partake of a hookah.

Thursday, November 16

Growth Spurt

New job = new health insurance.

Earlier this week, I met my new lady doctor for the first time. Since this was our first meeting, we covered all the basics -- family history, personal history, etc…

A bit of background. I take serious issue with my height. I've been 5'3 since high school. I have dreams of being tall -- 5'7 -- that's heaven. Which explains why I’m always in heels, always. I know my insistence upon all-heels-all-the-time is condemning me to a future filled with bunions, hammertoes or possibly worse. But my desire to project an appearance of height outweighs all future health concerns.

So, the doctor measures me and quickly reports back - 5’4. I made her measure me twice just to be sure. It is true, I am tall... Now with my heels on, I'm right in the sweet spot of 5'7.

Do we keep growing in our 20's? I'm not sure, but the doctor mentioned that my mini-obsession with
Bikram Yoga may have contributed to my new height. All those spine-lenghtening exercises... That’s the best incentive ever to make it to class.

Tuesday, November 7

Santa Hates Me

Yesterday, my dad emailed the following:

"Being the head of the family I make this proclamation: No (commercialized) Christmas presents. Instead let's get creative. I'm making a meal requirement, each of you will be responsible for at least one evening)meal, this should be something new and/or favorite."

No Christmas tree overflowing with presents? No stockings? No Christmas shopping? No wrapping paper? No fighting with the scotch tape? This is terrible! I love holiday shopping.... I like opening gifts... Most of all I like giving gifts (really!). I am going to blame my brother for this terrible idea.

Considering that I don't cook, this could be disasterous. I feel my only option is to recreate the the winning recipe. My family is so abnormal!

Monday, November 6

Taking Applications for New Boy Toys

After dealing with the Producer's inability to commit to anything more than bed-buddies and confirming that the Nudist hooked up with my roommate. (Yes, my roommate) I'm taking a self-imposed break from these guys.

Yup! You read that correctly, the Nudist hooked up with my roommate.

Alright, I probably should have expected something like that, they are drinking buddies and I had him on the bench for such a long time... But still, there should be some sort of roommate rule here, or something.

That said, with the Nudist out of the game and the Producer on the "fun bench" ... I have some extra time, so it is open application time for new boy toys...

I probably should refocus all this time and energy on something other than boys, but what fun is that.

Saturday, November 4

New Policy: Don't Ask. Don't Tell

I effectively ignored The Producer for 4 days, screening all his calls. It wasn't until he sent a 17 paragraph email of apology on Tuesday that I softened. I met him for dinner and we talked it out. Well, conducted a mini peace accords during which we established some rules for our hanging out.

I'm weak I know.

When you start off as bed buddies with an "i don't want more from this" attitude - at some point you need to acknowledge when things do change and you actually start respecting/liking/caring for the other person. We had that moment and we've agreed to a new open-dating policy of "Don't Ask. Don't Tell"

Truth be told. After taking this self-imposed break, I'm not feeling as crazy for him as I once was. It is like some of the illusion is gone... A couple weeks back my lady friends prodded me to put The Producer on the fun bench, so I could focus more attention on the other guy in my life.

So as of this argument, I've put the Producer on the fun bench. I'm now going to do the right thing and give the guy I've been pretty much shitting on (figuratevely speaking) the respect that he deserves. Cause he's actually put up with a lot of my attitude and fickleness these last few months...

Batter Up!