The "m" word

In a relationship, I never, ever, ever mention marriage. Ever. And for good reason, this isn't something I dwell upon. My parents weren't married until 32, so I figure I have four years to get my act in gear.

However, when I consider my doomed relationships (those which I invested myself in vs. those that were mere "bumper" boyfriends), I'm staring to think that the lack of this word is detrimental to me.

Perhaps in the future, I should stop being the non-commitment gal.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about bringing it up within the first couple months of hanging out. But at some point, when marriage comes up in conversation, I should admit that 'yes, I would like to get married someday.'

I don't think I've ever voiced these words to the men in my life. Not that this is going to cure my dating ills, but at least I'll put upfront where I eventually see myself. Then he'll either get out early, or he'll move ahead fully aware.

I guess I had figured I never needed to say those words, because I had naively believed that everyone wants to get married some day. I'm learning that I'm wrong, people are becoming increasingly happy without the institution. The least I can do is be honest about what I'm looking for.