Downtown-Chic

Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Monday, October 30

Deleted

It is not always easy to make the right decision, but it sure helps to have a bottle of Bailey's and a cup of coffee.

Saturday morning, I caught the 11:11AM train to the Hunt with one minute to spare. The evening prior, I was out too late, drank too much and slept too little. The Halloween party was fun, but in what's fast becoming par of the course, the Producer and I quarled throughout the evening. What were we fighting about, well:

Earlier this week, he mentioned that he's slept with a couple other girls since we've been hanging out. I can't get mad about this because obviously, so have I. However, his admission pissed me off, because I feel he has intentionally been deceitful in hiding it. From our casual sex beginning, we were both open and honest about who we had been with... or were still involved with... I never hid or lied about anything with the Nudist and I guess I expected simliar openness from him.

How wrong I was!

Also, at first, I thought it was endearing that he wanted me to quit smoking cigs and dabbling with drugs. And then he insisted I meet with his financial planner... Cute right? He cares about making me a better person. Well, I'm starting to think that this has a lot more to do with control, and less with accepting me - or tolerating my faults.

I originally found it attractive that he was so self-assured... I'm getting a little tired of the ego. He often teases me for liking guys who are pushovers, or in his opinion "vunerable." He all too often points out that in dating him, I'm playing in the "major leagues" vs. the "minor league" guys that I have surrounded myself with. (Egotistical, huh?)

Honestly, there is something seriously wrong with the whole situation. Avenue Elle pointed out to me, "he brings out all of your insecurities." She's right! Another girlfriend, pulled me aside on Saturday night and said she didn't like the way he was treating me. Sometimes a gal needs to listen to her ladies and reevalute. What's that saying... something about seeing the forest through the trees?

So, after a couple cups of coffee spiked with Bailey's, I flipped open my phone - deleted his number, cleared my call history, sent texts and recieved text cues. In the digital age, removing someone from your life is as easy as that.

______________________

Update: As further affirmation that I've made the right decision, I read a post like this and I thank my lucky stars that I have enough self-respect to walk away.

11 Comments:

At 1:57 PM, Blogger Irish Red said...

you're a stronger woman than I am. Bravo!

When I delete the numbers, i usually write them down SOMEWHERE so i have them if i need them - but they're not out drinking with me on my cell phone - which prevents drunken dials.

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Karinaxoxo said...

Kudos for standing up for yourself...
You are very strong and have def made the right choice - esp if your g/fs are pointing it out.

 
At 8:58 PM, Blogger ridiculous said...

hooray for strength!

i recently performed my own delete. sometimes it's a hard decision to make, but it feels great to have that control back.

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger jo said...

i'm glad that you deleted him. you don't need anyone who would bring out all your insecurities.

i'm a big fan of auditing out numbers in my phone. makes it easier not to call or even think bout 'em.

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Dustin said...

HAH!

Come on down to my office and I'll share the bottle we have

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7706/1750/1600/baileys.jpg

we can compare insecurities
blah

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Any guy who refers to himself as "major league" needs a kick in the balls. What a douche bag. Like he was doing you a favor by dating you. Dick.

Sex & Moxie
www.moxieblog.typepad.com
www.MoxieintheCity.net

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger swandad said...

Ditto....

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger MonkeyPants said...

Wow. Yeah, good for you on the deletion. You definitely saw some red flags there... particularly with playing on your insecurities crap.

A friend of mine, a very strong woman who couldn't believe she found herself in this situation, was in what turned out to be an abusive relationship. She later saw that it played out like this:

Example: He liked to help her pick out something to wear when they'd go out. At first it was: "Oh that dress looks so nice on you!" (complimentary) to "That's a very pretty dress but the red one would look nicer" (oh! He cares about what's best for me!) to "Don't wear that... wear this." (hey, wait a minute...)

Good for you for being strong and recognizing someone who's clearly so insecure he's got to make himself feel better by reminding you he's better than all the rest (the "major leagues" - blech!).

 
At 5:49 PM, Blogger Karinaxoxo said...

You've been tagged on my site.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

Awesome! Well done.

 
At 11:55 PM, Blogger Neha said...

i am inspired.

 

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