Slut-o-ween

Dear Ricky's NYC:

I'm highly concerned about your current display of women's Halloween outfits. Perhaps, I've become cynical in my 20+ years of life, but what's with the full on slut display? Really, Ricky! What about Halloween screams slut to you? Slutty proctologist nurses, slutty flight attendants from "Mile High AirClub", slutty construction workers with cut off t-shirt reading "Got Wood?",

In thinking ahead to your costume order for Halloween 2006, please keep the following in mind:

1) If I wanted to dress up like an S&M maven or Sex Kitten, I would purchase those particular outfits. Not every cop outfit needs to be made out of pleather.

2) Not everyone (actually very few of us) look good in half shirts.

3) Even fewer of us look good in hot pants. I even checked a size up hoping there'd be more length in the inseam -- but no, you only offer a large waist band.

4) Still ranting about the hot pants... if a women is purchases the XXL flight attendant outfit, please, please, please, please add a little lenght to those hot pants. No one, I repeat no one, wants that type of fright on Halloween.

5) By the time the evening is over, it's November. For crying out loud, it's going to be 40 degrees outside! I'm freaking freezing!

6) More accessories please, move beyond the pirate, pimp and vampire fare. Assortment is a lovely thing!

Thank you for considering this. Until you offer more appropriate fare, I'll continue to take my costume dollars elsewhere. Perhaps next year, I'll hand over $70 for one of your pre-packaged costumes. Until then, I won't be back 'till your store returns to the smorgusborg of hair care prodcuts.

Sincerely,
Snob I.T. City