Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Thursday, March 23

"I Miss You" Abuse

Three months since the break up and you are so over him:

- You've filled the hours of your day that used to be "his" with other activities
- You deleted all phone numbers, email addresses
- You've filled your IPod with break up tunes. (Highly suggest: Kelly Clarkson's 'Since You've Been Gone")

- Photos of you two have been relegated into a rarely viewed photo album
- You've paid the massive phone bill from when you surpassed your minutes calling your mom, your sister, your friends, your "haven't seen since college" friends to cry and rehash and relive the breakup until it all seemed comical and distant.
- You've even made out with a couple guys for an added dose of confidence.
- You can hardly remember his name...

Then your phone rings. Semi-recognizing the number, you answer without thinking. It takes a split moment to realize it is him. In that moment you aren't so strong, or over it, as you've been playing. Especially not when he says: "Hi, I've missed you."

"I've missed you," such a simple phrase, yet incredibly devastating. Men understand this and will use and abuse this phrase. It works quite simply -- the phrase is incredibly non-committal and pretty much guarantees a similar knee-jerk response in return.

I'm adding this phrase to the "cautionary" list of phrases, which includes: "I need to get my shit together"
. Prepare yourself for this moment which inevitably always comes and prepare, rehearse... Plan an exit strategy with your friends, because the last thing you'll want to do it hang up the phone and feel those 'break-up' emotions again.


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