Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Tuesday, June 27

Guest Editorial -- A Short Story

Since I have no creativity this week... I am posting a true tale from my world traveling friend.

"How to Get Bucked Off and Kicked By A Horse and Live to Tell About It"
- a short story -

We were outside Santiago, on the grand Lake Atitlan, resting between two dormant volcanoes. The ranch belonged to two eccentric expats, Nancy and Jim, who lived there since the Guatemalan Civil War. That's when I met Rosa.

Rosa seemed a bit skittish from the start to be perfectly honest. While my boyfriend and Pancho seemed to hit it off instantly, Rosa had an uncalm nature to her. After a few brief instructions, we head off down the road, in great anticipation of the cloud forests and amazing vistas that we would soon encounter.

About three minutes later, the dogs showed up. Rosa didn't like them. They growled at her, jumped at her, and nipped at her face. She became visibly upset, and turned around, as though to head back towards the ranch. At this point I was uneasy but not entirely concerned. Then she started what can only be called a gallop back in the direction of the ranch, at which point I got nervous and probably started shrieking a bit. The dogs caught up to her and came at her from the front again, at which point she did a full-on rodeo buck with her back legs, veered to the left, and then bucked up on her back legs, sending me flying into a pile of logs. For a nanosecond I lay there with my eyes closed, feeling the impact all over my body but realizing that I was still alive. That's when I felt a cloven hoof kick into my ankle, and heard what can only be called stampeding around my head, which quickly brought me to my senses: " Holy shit I am laying beneath a horse going ape shit." By the time I pulled myself up Rosa was in a full-tilt gallop back towards the ranch, clearly glad to be rid of me.

Now bear in mind: My boyfriend had to watch this entire episode from his horse, helpless. I almost feel worse for him.

Almost, but for the back spasms, softball-sized shiner on my leg (complete with broken skin from the hoof), and overall soreness that feels as though I´ve been in about three car accidents.

Luckily, you don't need a prescription for Valium here :)


At 10:28 AM, Blogger NotCarrie said...

I've been feeling less than creative, too, lately.

Ow, that sounds painful! (the story)


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