Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Wednesday, June 21

No Subject Required

Last time I met up with Nice Guy Finish Last, he gave me a hard time cause I never actually reveal anything about myself on my blog. Fittingly enough, my first personal revelation might be something that he can relate to.

In thirteen days, July 4th to be exact. It will be 365 days this last time I've slept with someone. I don't think I've experienced this type of dry spell since I was fifteen. Honestly, I can't! There was a time of my life when I was having so much sex, men practically overlapped. (Alright they did, just don't tell my ex'es.)

Today however, my obsession crossed the line when I saw pregnant woman and was struck with extreme jealousy because she is obviously having more sex than me.

Problem #1
The guy that I've been hanging out is incredibly a-sexual, shy or gay. Of all the time we've spent together (4 months) we've probably hit third base (if you regress to high-school make out terminology) once. ONCE! Obviously, this needs to end. He is distracting me from my end goal.

Problem #2
Somewhere along this lonely road I decided I need to actually like the person. Whatever happened to college, when being drunk was enough to sleep with someone. At what point did I flip the switch to needing to care about someone. This train of thought is royally screwing me right now (poor choice of words, cause nothing is screwing me at this moment.)

Problem #3
I have a date on Friday and all I'm thinking about is what amount of time is reasonable before we'd decided to sleep together. Come on! I'm starting to talk and sound like a guy!

In an effort to remind myself that I once had a very active, fulfilling sex life, I took a purity quiz. The kicker is that my existance in a sexless vacuum has raised my purity score. I've gone from a solid 22% in college to 24% sexually pure.

Hopefully, my weekend at the Jersey Shore over the 4th of July weekend will provide a few options. However, I'm thinking I should begin filling my application to become President of the "born-again virgin club." I'd be a shoe in....


At 9:27 AM, Blogger NotCarrie said...

Haha, we used to take the purity test over in college to see how much we went down. I haven't taken it in awhile. I'd probably be disappointed now;)

At 10:31 AM, Blogger K said...

Jersey shore will cure what ails ya. And then give you a new disease to worry about :)

At 12:30 PM, Blogger NEWSKI said...

im the same way with having to like someone nowadays. whats up with that. throw yourself a party when it happens though!

At 7:22 PM, Blogger Crazy Girl City said...

Good luck at the Jersey Shore....hopefully you'll find some decent options.

At 5:33 PM, Blogger myboyfriendiscrazy said...

You can have sex with them on the first date if you want, as long as you know that you're just trying for sex. I suppose that means you have to change your standards but... maybe at some point having some relief sex will outweigh your desire for emotional connection

At 10:24 PM, Blogger Damn It Anyway said...

Wow..thanks for sharing....damn..NOW what will i give you shit about next time we're hanging out?

At 11:13 PM, Blogger jo said...

for some reason my male colleague always gets very amused bout the whole 'born again virgin club' thing.

At 1:45 PM, Blogger Betty on the Beach said...

If you're going to be where I think you're going to be on the Jersey Shore...I say you HAVE to go into FULL ON SEXUAL VIXEN ATTACK MODE. It's the only way. Make Betty proud! And get laid girl! Sheesh!

At 2:49 PM, Blogger Elle said...

I agree with Betty...It's time for a big, heaping serving of CHILI..and it better be spicy ;-)

At 2:22 PM, Blogger The Eternal Freshman said...

I love this post, 'cause I identify with you in so many ways.

Like you, I find myself wondering how long I should have to wait 'til I can sleep with the guy. What is an acceptable waiting period (I make it sound like I'm purhasing a gun.)? And I can't have fun having sex with someone unless I like them. I tried having a boy toy for a while, and it was about as satisfying as a rice cake.

At 12:48 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Funny post! I look forward to reading more. Dating blog drama is good dish, better than chick-lit on the beach!


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