I'm sure you can relate...

Recently, Ivy and I found ourselves enjoying ourselves a bit too much as we discussed the never funny topic of eating disorders. Often my friends keep their odd food behaviors to themselves, after all who wants your friend po-poing you, or trying to sabatoage your weight loss strategy scheme. A few diets which our friends, or Ivy and I personally tried to sustain on, include:

1. Anorexia – Sustain yourself on lettuce and mini boxes of raisins, see how long you last without passing out
2. Bulimia – It's a great idea at the beginning (Yum, eat the entire plate of cookies) which turns into a whole lot of regret
3. Laxatives - Desperation and true hatred for one's body
4. Weight Watchers – Calculated anorexia insanity. How few points (or bowls of that awful pointless soup) can you eat in one day? Brag to friends about sustaining on 16 points/day for a week
5. Pria or Luna Bars Only – If you can overlook the inevitable constipation, you have lots of tasty options to chose from
6. All (Insert Anything) diet - Why are these diets always for things like grapefruit,tomato and rice soup, broccoli or plain oatmeal. It would be great to lose weight on an All Spicy Tuna Roll diet or All Macaroni and Cheese diet
7. Wedding Crash Diet – Always love seeing a wedding photo album where the bride does not look a thing like her true self. Sometimes it is impossible to recognize the overly tan, skeleton in the photo as your 150 pound, translucent-pale friend
8. Coffee and Cigarettes – Does not do much for your oral health, but you look great in your jeans. Now if you can only get to sleep
9. Sleeping Pills - If you are sleeping you can't be eating
10. Heartbreak – True this severe weight-loss could be linked to stress, but I think it has more to do with the realization (and accompanying fear) that in order to ever have sex again, another person is going to see you naked
11. Stress – Food, who has time when your phone won’t stop ringing
12. Gymrexia – Obsession with burning off every single calorie eaten during the day, kept in a copious "food diary", plus an additional 150 for good measure. Cause you know those machines don’t accurately report calories burned
13. Water, Water, Water - Just carrying the Poland Spring bottle burns an extra 100 calories, not to mention all those trips to the bathroom
14. The Bender - Liquid calories only supported by bi-weekly calls to your delivery service
15. Lean-Cruise Delirium – Mental mind tricks and creative spice rack combinations to trick yourself into thinking the microwave dinner are in anyway satisfying

Often, one crash diet approach isn't enough, so we start combining our misguided rationales into even healthier combinations. Popular combinations include: 12 and 2, 11 and 4, 9 and 7, the possibilities are endless...

Ah, then to make sure you aren't missing any essential nutrients or causing long-term damage to your body, take a daily multivitamin and calcium pill. Sick, ladies. We'll all sick.