Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Thursday, January 4

Bookstore Pick-Up

Wasting time in the NYC book section of the Astor Place Barnes & Noble, someone standing next to me says, “I love the color of your jacket.” I look up to see a Russell Simmons look-a-like standing next to me and respond, “Um, thanks it is brown.” As I keep browsing, he explains to me that “brown is a very deep color. The individual who chooses to wear brown instead of black is showing complexity.”

Seeing that he doesn't have my interest, he inquires about an author whose book I am holding. Faced with a direct question that involves full sentences vs. a general ‘yes’ or ‘no’, I decide that it is easier to respond. We ended up in a conversation about books and authors, each recommending a book to the other. He gives me his name and I instinctively provide my bar name “I'm Roxie.”

At this point, people around us are eavesdropping. (If it weren't me being hit on, I’d do the exact same thing.) He then leans over and says, “I’m so glad you aren’t wearing any make-up. You are very beautiful and when I kiss your cheek my lips will be on your on bare skin.”

DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT!?! At this point, it occurs to me. This isn't real. I’m being Punk’d. Alright, since I’m not famous, I'm on MTV’s Breaking Point. Cause no real person would ever say that.

I tell him that he is inappropriate and he needs to go away. He quickly disappears behind the 2007 calendars.

Immediately, people start chuckling… I keep looking at the shelf waiting for the camera guy or producer to approach and ask for my signature on the release form. No one approaches. This can’t be for real. No one would actually say that. No one came over. So I can only assume it was a very, very sad attempt at the bookstore pick-up. How utterly cliche!


At 7:27 PM, Blogger Wanda said...

Hehehe. That was a pretty sad pick-up line. When I first saw the title of your post I got really excited, because I've always wanted to meet some cute guy at a bookstore (since I'm a bookworm and all)... so I thought you'd have this great story of striking up a good conversation with someone about your book and getting asked out and all that. ;)

At 7:32 PM, Blogger Frankly, Scarlett said...

coulda been cute but...eeewwwwww! He's lucky he didn't try that line with me - i would have been a bit harsher.

At 7:43 PM, Blogger Tote Board Brad said...

ok, it was me. I was going to use "nice shoes....wanna fuck?", but decided to slow play it.

At 4:22 AM, Blogger jo said...

okay that is just entirely too creepy. he would have be forgiveable if he just stuck with the brown jacket and authors conversation. i'm staying away from bookstores now haha!

At 11:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oooh, too creepy- good for you for making him go away!

At 1:00 PM, Blogger Johnny said...

If the guy looked like Brad Pitt, would you have reacted that way? Just a thought. But that must have been hilarious for people watching!

At 2:55 PM, Blogger Johnny said...

Hey I just realized, at first when I read this, I thought it said Richard Simmons lookalike. Now I realize it says Russell Simmons. I mean, no doubt it would be creepy either way, but Richard Simmons would be twice as funny.

At 3:07 AM, Blogger *Red said...

Ooooh, that is super creepy. I might of included a slap.


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