Downtown-Chic

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Wednesday, September 27

My Pity Party

Last weekend I celebrated the marriage of my best friend to an absolutely amazing guy. There is nothing quite like a wedding – filled with love and friends - to make you realize how down right pathetic single life can be.

When I am in NYC - I love being single. However, once I leave the island and enter suburbia, I realize that a stacked social schedule of parties, dates, bars, concerts, and dinner parties isn’t everything. Friends outside the city are falling in love, purchasing homes, raising puppies that grow into large, lake swimming, stick catching dogs…

For two years running, I've attended every single wedding dateless... These weddings become reason enough for me to throw myself a pity-me party. Somewhere after the rehearsal dinner and before the wedding, I get depressed. Depressed to the point that I cry. I cry to whoever happens to be sitting next to me at that moment -- Be it a random wedding guest (2005) or the bride (last weekend). We're talking sobbing tears, lock yourself in the bathroom tears...

I look around at my friends and realize we’re all having a blast because we’ve known each other since college. For 10 years, these couples have been sharing every moment of their lives together. (I know these all are not good moments, but still they are SHARED.) In these 10 years:

-- I’ve ended two long-term relationships. One resulted in a broken heart. The other a kick-him-to-the-curb-debacle
-- Had 10-12 one-night stands or casual relationships
-- Endured 364 sexless days

I tell myself I’m making the most of my late 20’s – but I’m starting to feel that I’m missing out on a party that everyone else has tickets to. I hate missing a good party…

Anyway, there is nothing like a friend’s wedding to toss a single gal into a depressing cycle of self-doubt and cynicism. That said, I am on my way home to find my way into the bottom of a bottle of Rioja. Self-medication is in order.

11 Comments:

At 10:51 PM, Blogger Chris said...

You're not missing out on anything! I was just saying this on another blog (my god, what is with all the weddings going on?)...there is no race to be happy. Things happen when they're supposed to happen.

Frankie Says Relax.....

Sex & Moxie
www.moxieblog.typepad.com

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger Tote Board Brad said...

Good grief. The grass isn't greener. You're living the life now your going to be wickedly nostalgic about in 10 more years. Drink it in, kido. It's a damn good life.

 
At 10:34 AM, Blogger Elle said...

The grass is always greener...But I totally feel your pain, being single has it's downfalls...

Welcome to "the funk" m'dear :-)

I think Saturday we need to rally...

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger Karina said...

I agree with Elle.. 'the gras is always greener'
I've been in a relationship for 2.5 years and sometimes I so badly want to be single (p.s reading your posts just make me want to even more so hehe)
Of course your friends wedding day is going to be beautiful and they'll tell you have amazing the the last x amount of years have been... but they are probably all a little jealous at the fun you are still having!!

 
At 10:20 PM, Blogger jo said...

gosh! did everyone get married over the weekend?? i just attended as well. and i can so relate with what you feel. it's only when you see your friends one by one getting married that you realise how time really flies and how long you've known each other and how much things have changed since. sometimes when i'm out partying and having a good time, i don't mind being single all that much. but then i've starting to come to the point where all that is boring and i actually wanna start settling down (ack!). oh well don't worry, this is more than just a one-woman pity party..

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger NotCarrie said...

It can be tough to remember the positives to the side you're on. Like, you may get down at the wedding, but the married chick may get down later on when she hears about all the fun you can have!


:)

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger jerri said...

It can be hard being single. Perhaps, it's best to think about life in a general sense. Married or not we are all here for our own purpose. Some of us fulfill that by being single longer then we wanted, but it is our life story. In the end, you wouldn't want it in other way.

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger Downtown said...

Wow! You guys are all the best prep talk a gal could have... Everyone is so right

Chris - I'm thinking September has replaced June as the 'wedding month'

Brad - Yea, I'm enjoying it - but it is exhausting.

Elle - Saturday night, desperatly called for.

Karina - You are in a 2.5 year relationship! had no idea - thought you were a single gal like me. Well, anything I can do to help you relive those moments. (Perhaps I should post about the groom's cousin and the men's bathroom.)

Jo - You are so invited to hang with Elle and I on Saturday... A posse of single gals is the best elixer

NotCarrie - I am sure my friends discuss behind my back how "wild" I am.

Jerri - You know, even if I had a serious someone, I wouldn't be rushing to get married. The disappointment of divorce is too daunting...

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger Irish Red said...

Dude! I Soooo know where you're coming from. In the city you're single and fabulous, but take one step into the suburbs and it's like you're a lepper! (sp?)

Maybe our party invitation just got lost in the mail....?

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger ridiculous said...

everyone here has said it really well, so i'm just going to add that i can totally identify with these feelings.

there's a flip side to everything...

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger Wilson said...

Don't you just love going to wedding's dateless...I went to one a few weeks ago. My date got sick and couldn't make it. To make it worse it was an ex's wedding (I'm still trying to figure out why she called and made me promise to come). But even though that one night I was feeling the same way you are, the next night I was ready to go out again and meet some new and interesting people that I may just get the opportunity to become part of my reality. Keep your chin up princess...when the time is right you'll get to enjoy that experience. Till then...there are single guys out there trying to stack up the courage to walk over and talk to you...lol.

"Life's a walk in the park, and your that sweet gentle breeze that makes the walk an experience to remember...” - Anonymous

 

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