Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Tuesday, April 25

The Marriage Trainer - Round Two

Yup, it is official…. I’m a marriage trainer . An ex-boyfriend is getting married in June - on my birthday none-the-less.

No major loss here, the guy was a loser who never moved beyond the college-years “hanging out and smoking pot” all day thing. In his honor, here are highlights from our illustrious time together:

- During the 3-years we went out, he was chronically unemployed. He never held down a job in college, was fired 3 times post-college. He has absolutely no work ethic.

- After my career-driven self kicked him to the curb, he linked up with a 35-year-old woman desperate to get hitched. So desperate in fact, she let his unemployed self move into her apartment and she supported his lazy butt.

- The kicker: She purchased her own engagement ring because…. Ding Ding Ding…. he was unemployed.

I keep thinking I should probably feel a little remorse that my ex-boyfriend is about to be officially married to someone else. But I don’t. Between us, having met his fiance, I'm thrilled that as of their wedding date, I’ll go down as the prettiest girlfriend he’s ever had.

Now, before you throw stones -- let me say, she’s cute if you like that “former-Ms.-Teen-New Jersey-contestant-who-let-myself-go-in-my-30’s-slightly-doggish–matronly-and-overweight” type of girl.

An added bonus, he has also gone downhill. So I'm the girl who dated him in his svelte college years. Bonus for me!


At 9:28 AM, Blogger Silvs said...

*lol* oh you are soo bad!!
in a good way :-)

At 11:10 AM, Blogger AWE said...

I think I dated his sister. I dated a girl like that, no ambition. She reminded me of Peg from Married with Children. I put up with it for a while and kicked her to the curb. She now looks like two of the girl I dated.

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Crazy Girl City said...

Are you also a Gemini?

At 10:05 AM, Blogger Downtown said...

Yes, I am a Gemini. And about as true to form as they come. Whenever I read one of those silly "this is your sign" books, it always blowes me away how much I fit their Gemini profile.


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