Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Thursday, March 23

Have you ever behaved so badly?

Eds Note: What you are about to read is true account of my behavior from this weekend. Expect to be shocked and disappointed. I understand my actions to be completely inexcusable and unforgivable...

I had plans with a guy on Saturday night to attend his annual football team's gala. Not wanting to venture off the isle of Manhattan alone, I begged and pleaded with a friend to accept his friend's invitation, serving as my winggal.

Upon arrival, it quickly became apparent that this was the worst option for a third date. Imagine attending a wedding where you know noone and can only understand about 75% of what your date says.

The early part of the evening was okay... Throughout it all, I smiled, I laughed, I danced when asked - all the things that a date should do. I tried not let it bother me that no one (aside from my date and winggal) would speak to me. Or that his friends were giving him "thumb-up" sign as I danced with him (as if I were blind and didn't see them). Or that he exhibited some despicable table manners.

As the evening was ending,the guys asked us to attend a party in yet another borough. We quickly declined this invitation voicing our desire to be back in Manhattan. Looking silghtly dejected, my date asked if they could join us... (Eds Note: Okay, I know now, this would have been the appropirate spot to cleanly end the evening.) ... I agreed to them accompanying us.

Finally, the four of us hailed a cab and headed back to Manhattan. During the car ride, I decided that I was going to have a quick drink at the bar and be on my way. With this in mind, I kept trying to direct us to bars on the Upper West Side. (Seems fair that the bar at least be on his side of town?) Anyway, my hints weren't caught, and we ended up at some dismal brew-pub in the bowels of NYU.

When my date steps away to go to the bathroom, some guy starts talking to me. First he asks if I am there with boyfriend, to which I reply "no". (True) We talk for a bit within earshot of his friend and my winggal. He is called away before my date returns. Continue drinking. Still looking for a way out, I'm texting friends to determine who is around for a post-escape drink. While trying to think up how to take winggal with me, an opportunity presents itself.

Bar guy returns as boxes my evening's date out of the conversation. He mentions that he was leaving but wanted to get my number before doing so. (LIGHTBULB) Bar guy gets my number. As he walks away, I explain to my date that he can't honestly think I'm not seeing other people. Small very awkward banter, as my winggal and her date and literally picking their jaws off of the floor. Then I grab my coat and leave.

Post Date Commentary
I figure self-imploding a date is a heck of a lot easier than explaining that I really didn't enjoy myself and no I don't think I want to see you again, and yes I am going home right now, and then having to avoid all those phone calls... I took the simple (albeit, less socially desirable) way out.

I know that's terrible. I know Karma is going to be pay me back fierce. I was up at 8am on Sunday with a crushing sense of guilt for being such a b*tch. I was shocked and appauled at my own actions. Not to mention has to field a chastizing phone call from my winggal in the afternoon (Rightly so.)

It is highly probable that I'm on the verge of dating burnout. I seem to have forgotten that these guys I am dating actually have feelings. I'm not sure if I'm seeing them as individuals, or just people who occupy particular days on my social calendar...


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