Life. Men. Alcohol. Shoes.

Thursday, March 23

Back on the Boat - Things Get Rowdy

Snob had a smashing time on our cruise vacation. Smashing, literally! We racked up a $1,000 drink tab, not including beverages during the 2 open bars or the drinks/shots purchased for us (of which there were many...)

You can read a complete story-line version of vacation highlights on our dear friend Avenue Elle's blog...
Day 1, Day 2, Day 3.

Due to an inability to remember anyone's name, everyone we met was quickly nicknamed. Naturally, ours was Manhattan.... Here's the cast of characters:


  • Dom -- A reoccuring character, we must give props for his stopping us and tuning us into the rumor of the secret Dave show. This tip allowed us to score 4th row seats.
  • Jersey -- Decent guy, felt we never really knew you. (Friend of Hoboken)
  • Hoboken -- The first outsider to adopt the word dossier. We developed a vacation long shot-out, "Put it on the dossier." "I have an addemdum to the dossier." (Friend of Jersey)
  • Samantha & her mom -- The coolest parent ever! She accompanyed her 18-year-old duaghter on the cruise (min age was 21). During the day her mom sat poolside drinking up and buying us rounds. Samantha fit right in dancing up a storm with us during Ozomotli.
  • Late Night Guitar Guys -- Two dudes with guitars played a nasty little set on the deck late, late night. Snob made a point of dancing around till Dom's Older Friend made the comment noted below.
  • Mullet Band Guy -- Only because you are with the band guy will we go to the casino to be your lady luck.
  • "Coolest Guy in These Parts" Guy -- Anyone who remembered our aliases and lets us claim the last bucket of Coronas, deserves to be noted
  • Aaron -- Made a brief appearance poolside, but a strong impression. By far the cutest boy of the weekend, hung around long enough to make the Manhattan gals swoon with his style, sweetness and fabulous job. And as if he needed any more props, Ozomotli gave him a shout-out during the show. If only...


  • Dom's Older Friend -- Tolerated only because Dom was cool shit. Laughed outright when he told us he, "Hate to sleep alone."
  • Old Gross Married Couple -- Proposition #1. After straying away from the safety of the group, Snob was asked to "join them" in their balcony suite. Um, no. I'm young and cute and you are neither...
  • Anchorage & his mullet-sporting wife -- Proposition #2. "No sir, I don't care if you think I'd look good in a thong, I'll never wear one poolside. Now please stop trying to take pictures of us."
  • Cute (from the front) Boat Boy -- Nice to look at during the day, but morphed into crazy tripped out evening dude. He wouldn't stop eating ice out of my bucket of Coronas. Get lost!
  • Short Sante Fe -- Really odd lad who attached himself to Snob's hip after a trip to bar together. Proceeded to squeeze into our row and made the gals uncomfortable with his non-blinking stares.
  • Tall Sante Fe -- Less intrusive than Sante Fe, but after the previous encounter we stayed away from anything Sante Fe related.
  • Married Guy -- If only his wife knew that he was going out of his way to talk to the fine young Manhattan things... Please go away, you are a waste of our single time...


Now we didn't talk to these two ladies, but we did laugh at their expense often. As if we didn't get enough poolside, we saw them boarding a flight to NYC, confirming our suspicions that they live in either SeaSide, NJ or Long Island:

  • Thong Girl -- Hers was a metalic shiny pink number, spent much of the Ozomotli show running through the pool catching a football and "falling" into the water. Practically crying out to be looked at.
  • Peer Pressure Thong Ruffle Girl -- The creme d'la creme of bathing suits. Not only was it a black thong, but there was a ruffle on it. Why a ruffle? What was the ruffle purpose? As if that wasn't enough, she had white girl cornrows halfway back her head.


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