My Date with Anderson Cooper

June 25 at the 92nd Street Y.
I’ll be there.
He’ll be there.
(Enter fate)

On the off chance that all we need to fall in love is a chance encounter, we’ve never been closer. (Excluding that time I saw him outside Schiller’s Liquor Bar, but at that instance I was wearing sweaty gym clothes… not the right time for fate.)

Is it a coincidence that after the event they are having a single’s cocktail hour? No, I think not. The ladies and I are actually quite excited about this. Even if it doesn’t work out with Anderson, I’m hoping the post-event will attract other intelligent, worldly, New York City men.

What Tom Cruise Doesn't Want You To Remember

One can hardly turn on the television these days without hearing about Tom Cruise. For crying out loud, CNN spent more time discussing the birth of Sari than the recent outbreak of mumps. When someone’s ego is over inflated, I like to take them down to earth with a little dose of reality. How’s this for taking steam out of Mr. Cruise’s parasail.

Early in his career, Tom had a great career flop: Legend. His first “leading man” role was a foray into the world of sci-fi and unicorns. I can’t help but think of poor Kate, is living a remake of this forgettable flick. Reread when the roles of “beautiful young girl” and “Darkness” are played by the loving couple…

No Good without Evil.
No Love without Hate.
No Innocence without Lust.
I am Tom Cruise.

Kate meddles with the powers of Scientology and the Earth turns on its dark side, doomed to eternal night and evil. Who can save the Earth before the sun sets for the last time?

This is such stuff as dreams are made of. This is Legend.

I think I am on to something...

The Marriage Trainer - Round Two

Yup, it is official…. I’m a marriage trainer . An ex-boyfriend is getting married in June - on my birthday none-the-less.

No major loss here, the guy was a loser who never moved beyond the college-years “hanging out and smoking pot” all day thing. In his honor, here are highlights from our illustrious time together:

- During the 3-years we went out, he was chronically unemployed. He never held down a job in college, was fired 3 times post-college. He has absolutely no work ethic.

- After my career-driven self kicked him to the curb, he linked up with a 35-year-old woman desperate to get hitched. So desperate in fact, she let his unemployed self move into her apartment and she supported his lazy butt.

- The kicker: She purchased her own engagement ring because…. Ding Ding Ding…. he was unemployed.

I keep thinking I should probably feel a little remorse that my ex-boyfriend is about to be officially married to someone else. But I don’t. Between us, having met his fiance, I'm thrilled that as of their wedding date, I’ll go down as the prettiest girlfriend he’s ever had.

Now, before you throw stones -- let me say, she’s cute if you like that “former-Ms.-Teen-New Jersey-contestant-who-let-myself-go-in-my-30’s-slightly-doggish–matronly-and-overweight” type of girl.

An added bonus, he has also gone downhill. So I'm the girl who dated him in his svelte college years. Bonus for me!

Hooking Up

Why is it that if you are most likely to hook-up on the nights you wear your least attractive underwear and fore-go the bikini wax...

Also, there is nothing like a regular hook-up to make you realize it is time to call Victoria's Secret and place an order new for undergarments.

Can you tell I have a date tonight? I at least shaved my legs this morning.... That's better than nothing.

Mototoriium on Weddings

As of today, April 18, 2006 Downtown Chic is no longer available to appear in bridal parties as either Maid of Honor or Bridesmaid.

Have you ever tried to get seven people from across the U.S. to agree on a travel destination? Locations which didn’t pass the illustrious sounding board:

Las Vegas, Lake Havasu, Miami/South Beach, New Orleans, Ft. Lauderdale, Vancouver, Montréal, San Diego / Long Beach, Boston, NYC, Los Angeles
Newport, San Francisco

A year’s worth of my three-day holiday weekends have been consumed by “planning-get-togethers”

I’m tired of mediating between you and your mother.

Taffeta dresses do not look good, regardless of whether or not Vera Wang is selling it.

Is it a rule that all brides insist upon dresses that do not compliment her bridal parties body type? (See real-life horrors here: http://www.uglydress.com/)

Why do I allow myself to feel guilty everytime you go on, and on, and on about about how much your wedding is costing you... you’ve overspent…, your gown’s alterations…, printing invitations…, the wedding cake…, the fourteen day honeymoon… Then feeling guilty, I pick up the check for lunch, brunch, drinks or dinner. This is expensive guilt.

I’m tired of talking about colors. Is anyone going to remember if the bridal shower colors, match the ceremony colors? Really?

If you mention one more time how glad you are that I'm single, so I’ll have more time at the wedding to “attend to my duties” without the distraction of a date, I just might scream.

Love being me...

Somedays I love being me...

This week when I stopped in the Cingular store to pick out a new cell phone (the Motorola Razor, thank you) The salesman took a liking to me, not sure it was my tale of subway theft, my feverish rambling, my continual coughing, or just me being me... But by the time he completed the paperwork, he whispered (so his boss couldn't hear) and was pointing to a 25% monthly discount on each bill.

Thank you very much sir. I love being me.

I'm off now for happy hour drinks. Happy weekend to you all.

The Long and the Short of It

In NYC, we have the luxury of wearing fashion trends straight off the fashion pages. Being fashion-forward and fashion-free, it is possible for this freedom to backfire. Jumping on a fashion trend before it has been test driven is a risky maneuver.

Much like the socks & heels trend, this season’s shorts trend is perilous. Case and point: a fashionable gal on the Lower East Side was wearing shorts, with black tights, knee high boots. Her faux-pas was their bootylicious length. I’m sure in her mind, the tights and boots balanced out the shorts’ mini length. From the head-turning glances she was receiving on the street, it obvious a full balance was not received.

A manageable (albeit fashionably safe) take on the trend are slim-cut, knee length shorts. Unlike the gauchos of seasons past, these pants actually compliment the leg, giving off the appearance of long and lean legs, especially when paired with heels.

Now’s the time to show off the things you’ve spent the last 3 months lunging, squatting and jogging toward.

Where's the love?

A friend just pointed out that I had the comment moderator turned on. Since starting the new blog, I had been wondering where the love, attention and fame had gone to...

I'm all for free speech, so the moderator is off. Comment away! As long as folks are relevant and not insulting to others, we'll stay that way.

Moderating and editing other's comments is lame, and so... dare I say, Republican.

Love love love -- the Juice

For the past 24-hours, I've been sick. Like any twenty-something adult, first thing I do when I start feeling feverish is call my mom. After my fill of coddling and cliche recommendations to treat my cold with chicken soup, OJ and sleep, I hang up and head straight to Duane Reade.

$20 purchased the essential cold care kit: Puffs tissues, Tylenol Cold & Flu (Night/Evening) formula, Chucky's Chicken Soup and a surprise purchase... "the juice".

My friend raves about "the juice." She carries it with her constantly. You are more likely to find "the juice" in her purse than mascara... I'm delirious. I'm tired. I'm standing in Duane Reade. SOLD!

Day 2. Wake up feeling like ass. Think about calling in but then remember I just started my job two weeks ago. Can't do. Get out of bed and stumble to work. Spend 2 hours sneezing, sniffling and feeling crappy before giving into the yuck factor and decide to try "the juice".

Heaven! I'm in heaven. Who knew that the cure of a cold could be so direct, so immediate. I've spent the last 6 hours in the office working like the "worker bee" I'm paid to be. One could hardly guess I am sick anymore. The box of Puff's is sitting unused. I've lost the nasal cold voice. The sinus pressure is gone.

I'm as psyched as a feverish person can be (sadly 'the juice" doesn't address body aches.)

Misplaced Cell Phone

I've misplaced my cell phone. Actually, I'm about 85% sure it was stolen from my purse on the subway yesterday. I recall last using my cell phone as I walked to the subway. After I realized my phone was missing that afternoon, I recalled an odd tug on my purse during my morning commute. Didn't think so much of it at the time, but now, it all makes sense.

I'm not so concerned about losing the phone - it was old, outdated and in need of replacement. I am highly concerned about losing the photos that were stored in the phone. I know I should have deleted them long ago. I know they had no place in my phone, but I figured my phone was safer than my laptop. Why? My cell phone is always with me.

Foolish! Embarrassing!

Secret

For the past 3 months, I’ve been seeing a guy on the sly. Why so secret? Secrecy has proven beneficial, he's the only guy I’ve been on more than two dates with and can still tolerate.

I've had the chance to get to know him without over-analyzing. I've come to learn that not only is he smart, funny, and accomplished, he’s also nice to his mother. He has nice teeth, lots of hair, friendly eyes, just under my 6-ft height preference. Added bonus, he owns a beach house. (Convenient timing don’t you think??)

I could probably have gone on keeping my secret for a couple more weeks, until I was out of town this weekend and received this text from him: "I Miss You". After reading his text at least five times and smilling, I think I need to come clean.

Not drawing any conclusions here,. Or putting an end to quest for Mr. Downtown. I'm just fessing up.

Caught Man-Fishing

When a single girl finds herself in a situation overwhelmingly filled with men, she has the luxury of man-fishing, tossing out casual lines here and there to see if anyone bites.

Celebrating the final weekend of the ski season, the ladies and I were doing it up at the Pickle Barrel in Killington, VT. Making our way through the crowd, we passed a group guys talking in thick Boston accents. I paused to cast a line…

As I poked fun at their accents, one of the guys remarked, “Hey, I know you.” This stopped me in my tracks. Who at this bar, hundreds of miles from my NYC home, would know me?

“You used to go out with [ex-boyfriend].” As his words hit the air, I immediately recognized my ex-boyfriend’s best friend. (This coincidently is the ex who broke my heart last year, the ex who I’m still, against all logic, recovering from.) My brilliant side-kick and witness to the scene, Avenue Elle, swooped in and ushered my stunned self away.

Racked with insecurity, I couldn’t stop wondering: Did I look good? Was my hair frizzy? Was I wearing the right outfit? Was I too drunk? Did I look happy? Successful?

Requiring an immediate confidence boost, I headed to the dance floor to find the guy I had been dancing with earlier. After a quick make out session, my confidence was restored and I could finally view the situation clearly.

The ex is surely going to hear that I was out having a good time, looking good and clearly happy. So what if he hears I’m still single. Being happy and single isn’t a bad thing. Even if he’s found someone new by now, he’ll need to hear that I was happily man-fishing that weekend.

Not bad at all…

M.I.A.

There’s very little excuse for it, recently I’ve become incredibly neglectful of this space. I could blame my new job, my weekend travels, my drinking, my gym schedule, my dating or just plain laziness. Do the excuses really matter? No.

In neglecting my daily posting duties, I’ve given myself a serious case of self-inflicted writer’s block. Now I have too many ideas / thoughts / encounters to share. Feeling slightly overwhelmed, I have no choice but to end my posting hiatus.

Starting today, my break from blogging comes to an end. Consider this a New Year’s resolution in April.

Where to begin?? Ah yes, the ex-boyfriend encounter….